The holiday season is a time of happiness and affection, but it can be difficult for divorced or separated parents. In addition to the pressure of rebuilding your life after a divorce, you want to make sure your children have a joyful holiday. This can be challenging, especially if you have a strained relationship with your ex-partner.
The good news is that there are several things you can do to make holiday co-parenting easier. Here are some tips to help.
Put Your Kids Before Everything
Parenting requires us to make adjustments for the well-being of our children. During the holidays, it’s important to prioritize your children’s happiness, even if there may still be some unresolved feelings towards your former partner.
Be sure to consider the feelings and interests of your child when making decisions. This includes decisions about where they prefer to stay during the holiday and the type of gifts they should expect.
Additionally, regardless of age, ensure your kids understand the current situation and how the first holiday after divorce might differ from others. That might show how much you care about their feelings and will help soften their tension and anxiety about the family condition.
Discuss Gifts
Gift-giving is a significant aspect of a child’s holiday experience. However, it can be complicated for separated or divorced parents, especially if there are strained relations. Finding a balance between what your children desire and what is financially feasible can be challenging.
Fortunately, you can avoid this problem by discussing gift expectations with your ex before the holidays. Start by deciding how much you will spend on the kids and choose if you want to give them one gift from each of you or a combination of both.
Most importantly, avoid a gifting war with your ex-spouse by sticking to your limits. Trying to outdo one another can be costly and lead to tension between your children.
Plan Your Holiday Schedule in Advance
Your co-parenting experience during the holiday will be better if you discuss it with your ex and plan a schedule. Make sure to cover everything from family traditions to where your kids will spend the holidays.
As part of the plans, remember to also talk about your expectations of your ex’s role in the holiday schedule. For instance, if you want your kids to be in your care from Thanksgiving until New Year’s, you should inform your ex-spouse ahead of time.
Ideally, an effective schedule should also factor in your children’s wishes and activities. This can include everything from special classes and extracurricular activities to birthday parties and vacations.
If You Cannot Find a Suitable Co-Parenting Agreement
Sometimes, divorced or separated parents might struggle to agree on a suitable parenting plan for their kids. Unfortunately, this can lead to a lot of stress over the holidays as they try to find common ground.
“If you are experiencing holiday co-parenting issues with your ex, do not be fast to litigate or go to court,” says family law attorney Samah T. Abukhodeir of The Florida Probate and Family Law Firm. “Instead, turn to a family law attorney for help. They can help you and your ex-spouse to develop a parenting plan that works best for your kids.”
The holidays are a time for families to cherish the time spent with one another. Any issues or tension can be a distraction. Being proactive and taking the proper steps to talk and plan with your ex-spouse beforehand can lead to a better time with your loved ones.
